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Youve Been Elected To Congress! Can You Pass Even One Goddamn Bill?

Congratulations on becoming a member of the U.S. Congress! Now, you can truly enact meaningful change for your constituents and the nation. Are you ready to engage in the rich tradition of democracy?

Proudly, you decline the help of this multinational conglomerate. No one can buy me, you think to yourself.

Within hours, ExxonMobil is able to garner support from over 120 congresspeople who it exerts influence over.

Your bill dies a horrible death. You look incompetent, and ExxonMobil just donated $600,000 to your primary foe. Enjoy the next 18 months in office, because that’s all you’re gonna get.

A little girl from your district writes you a letter about how seeing you fail shook her religion in the American political system, and consequently she’s joined up with ISIS in Syria. The letter is confiscated from your hands by D.C. police, you are accused of conspiring with the foe, and you are thrown in prison, where you rot away.

No one visits you.

Well, you pissed off the party whip, who is really one of the people you should never piss off. Like a vice grip, former friends turn on you, squashing your relevance and political ambition into a fine muesli. Congress almost immediately votes the bill down, then passes a motion to cancel your birthday. The president signs it into law, and his approval immediately skyrockets.

A little girl from your district writes you a letter asking why you transgressed democracy, her favorite thing in the world.

You have no answer.

The bill passes! Congratulations!

The Senate love the idea of recognizing the aristocracy of wheelchair commerce and hurriedly votes it through their chamber. The president signs it into law.

You have built policy! Well done! Jefferson and Madison would be proud.

You stubbornly

Read more: http :// clickventure/ youve-been-elected-congress-can-you-pass-even-one–1 146

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